


Nightmares

by Gailgameshy



Series: Spirit of the Rose [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 04:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4692521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gailgameshy/pseuds/Gailgameshy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With as many horrible things they've both seen and experienced, both Cole and Rose are not going to sleep peacefully every night.  But at least they have each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rose 1

Cole woke to the sound of his lovely Rose screaming. His eyes darted around the room, looking for danger before he realized the danger was in her head. Dreams tended to flash too quickly for him to get an accurate read on them, but he still caught enough to know she needed to wake up NOW.

“Rose, it's a dream!” Cole shook her, trying to break the dream's hold. When her eyes opened, he relaxed, thinking the worst was over. Thus his surprise when Rose took one look at him and scrambled away, leaping from the bed to throw up. He poured a glass of water and took it to her so she could clear the bile from her mouth when she finished. She took the glass without looking at him, and he didn't have to be a former compassion spirit to read the shame and fear pouring from her.

“What's wrong?” Cole asked quietly. Rose shook her head, lips trembling and eyes threatening to overflow. Cole waited a moment to see if she would open up, but there was nothing but silence. Rose watched as his gaze went unfocused, relieved that she wouldn't have to explain herself, and horror that he would also blame her for what he saw.

“He storms after his murderer, leaving me with the others. Varric says to let him grow, Solas says to heal. Can only choose one, make him safe one way. Healing is good, healing is right, allow Solas his way. They forgive the murder, fear dawns, for the crime does not deserve forgiveness. Days pass, see him less and less. Worry I'll forget him.” Cole snapped back to the room, and Rose trembled in his arms.

“It got worse,” she whispered, still afraid to look him in the eye. “After the Temple, when you were pacing on the wall, he decided the memories of Cole were too much and he made himself forget them. There was nothing left of you, and I knew it was my fault you were gone. There was a spirit wearing your body, but it wasn't you. It barely even sounded like you. I killed you,” and Rose burst into tears.

Cole held Rose close, letting her cry while he kept up a steady quiet refrain of reassurances that he was there, he wasn't dead, he loved her. Eventually she calmed down, and Cole did the same. She clutched at his arms as he lifted her, walking back to the bed. He settled them, still holding her in his arms.

“I am here, and I am yours. You did not kill me,” Cole stated emphatically. Rose lifted her gaze to his face, and he tucked his joy at that small step deep inside where she couldn't see it, knowing it wasn't the time. Although she had mostly calmed down, her hand still trembled as it traced his features, cupped his cheek. He wanted to close his eyes to savor her touch and he wanted to never miss a single opportunity to watch her.

“I almost did. You have no idea how close I came to listening to Solas instead of Varric that day.” Rose blushed as Cole merely raised an eyebrow. “Okay, so you know. But I would have lost you, and the thought of losing you while you're still standing next to me terrifies me. And yet, I still wonder if I did the right thing or if I was just being selfish. If you would have been happier as a spirit.”

Cole laughed softly. “I would have been satisfied, maybe content. But happiness was alien to me when I was a spirit. And if I made myself forget my time as anything else, it would have been alien again. Since I have experienced being a spirit, being a demon, and being human, I promise that I am happiest here, human, with you. I didn't know love before you, only the echoes of it trapped in hurts. I will always choose you and being human. You made the choice I would have if I realized it was a choice, and I will always be grateful.” He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, and proceeded to show her some of the experiences he enjoyed now that he never would have as a spirit. In the back of his mind, he knew, he felt, that the issue wasn't completely resolved, and she would undoubtedly have this nightmare again, but he would be there for her each time, and the fear would grow smaller and smaller each time. It was a start.


	2. Cole 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cole dreams

The room was quiet when Rose walked in. She had meant to go to bed several hours ago, but Leliana had accosted her with some leads on where Solas had disappeared to, and they ended up plotting what to do next. But now, now Rose could finally lay down with Cole and get some much needed sleep. As Rose changed into her nightclothes, however, she heard a small whimper. She looked over to where the moonlight lit the bed, and saw Cole sit up, eyes wide with terror. Rose dropped the clothes and immediately made her way to his side, only for him to flinch away from her.

“What's wrong love?” It tore at her heart, the way his eyes flicked around the room, as though trying to locate the best exit to use. They didn't stop even as he answered her.

“Fading, faded. They don't see me, not anymore. Not Varric, not The Iron Bull, not Solas. I scream and want to MAKE them, but their eyes are blank. The knife back in my hand, and that they see. Red spills over them as they finally look at me. Nothing left, and suddenly you're in front of me, but not. You look through me, and my hand is not mine. Not when it lifts the knife. I can't, I won't. You whisper, 'I want to look into your eyes,' and the red flows.”

Rose froze, horror filling her as she could easily picture what Cole had described. Apparently even that small distance in her gaze was too much for him, and quick as a flash, he had his hands on her upper arms, holding her down on the bed. “No! Stay with me!” Tears rose in her eyes to match the ones spilling down his cheek. She caressed his arms as best she could in his hold and made sure to keep her eyes focused on him.

“I'm here Cole. I'm with you,” she reassured him. This proved to be too much for him, and Cole released his hold only to collapse on top of her, gathering her in his arms while he began to sob, his face buried in her neck.

“That's not me. I'm not a demon. Not anymore. I learned, I grew. Never a ghost again, never become that again. I don't need the deaths to exist.” The words sounded as though they were torn from the deepest depths of his soul, and Rose felt her soul cry out in response to his pain. She lay pliant in his arms, stroking any bit of skin she could touch, and it felt so inadequate, like she should be doing more. But all she could do was continue to offer him her touch and her voice.

“I know Cole, I know.” Rose also figured that using his name as often as possible should help to combat the fear left from the dream, let him know that she hadn't forgotten. “It was a nightmare. That's all. In the morning, we'll go down to breakfast, and you'll see them. Varric will call you 'Kid' and Iron Bull will make suggestive comments about how we spent the night until Dorian stops him. You'll see. And until then, I'll be right here with you.”

Cole slowly calmed during her recitation, although he kept his face pressed against her skin, likely afraid that she would look past him again. When a minute had passed without a word from either of them, he shuddered, and whispered. “Don't forget me.”

Rose pressed a kiss to his hair. “Never,” she replied, her voice breaking. Another moment, another breath of quiet.

“I can feel it waiting, wanting me back in its grasp. Please talk to me, let me know you're still here.”

Rose took a second to organize her thoughts, her memories, and felt Cole's hold tighten before she started speaking. “I don't know if I ever told you how much you helped me to fight the Envy demon. Having someone there that wasn't accusing, wasn't threatening or begging, it let me focus beyond the manipulation...”

Rose continued, and when she finished talking about the time at Therinfal Redoubt, she moved on to their time in the Hinterlands, and the Storm Coast. She continued even after she felt him fall back asleep, even breaths on her neck. If the nightmare came back, she wanted him to know it was just a dream the second he woke.

Luckily he slept through the rest of the night. And when they made their way down to breakfast, and Varric caught sight of them (“Maker, Kid! I know it feels good, but all night?”) along with Iron Bull (“He could be a Charger. He certainly has the 'Horns up' part down pat!”), only Rose saw the relief in Cole's smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had several ideas for Cole's nightmare, and I'll probably get to more of them later. I loved reading Asunder, which I didn't do until after playing Inquisition and falling in love with Cole. The epilogue was amazing!

**Author's Note:**

> This was largely based on my reaction to siding with Solas in one playthrough I started. I got to the scene where Cole erases his own memory and immediately quit. I doubt I'll ever finish that playthrough.
> 
> If you've enjoyed my work, you might appreciate some of the other fabulously written fics I've found all online. I've started a Youtube channel to post videos of fic recs based largely on what the fics ship. You can find it at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSKITbgiZfLShT-DFfrL95Q Please check it out. I'm also looking to improve my writing, and feedback goes a long way. Thanks to all of you!


End file.
